9. “Being John Malkovich. So… There’s these two nobodies, one of whom is obsessed with puppetry, who finds a portal into the head of the actor John Malkovich that allows them to control his body. After a period of time they are ejected from his head and dumped by the New Jersey turnpike. The movie is awesome but that’s blatantly a plot conceived during a spectacularly toasty-baked session and only people who’ve done far, far too many drugs would think that sounds like anything other than the deranged warblings of a pothead.”
“Written by Charlie Kaufman, who also did
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